My hot one-night stand gave me an STI and now he’s ignoring all of my messages
Dear Deidre: I recently had my first one-night stand. It was great sex, he was lovely, good-looking and very sweet – but he gave me a sexual infection and now he’s ghosting me.
I am a girl aged 20. I went to a party with some friends a month ago, then on to a club. I don’t remember the details much because I’d had a lot to drink, but I got talking to this chatty guy.
We had great sex but he gave me an STI
At the end of the evening, we ended up back at his place, in his bed, having really good sex. I do remember that much. We even fell asleep cuddling.
The next day he said it was the best sex he had ever had. He is also 20, just a few months younger than me. I learned he’s training to be a plumber but I didn’t find out much more about him. He said he would drop me back at my place, but suggested I stay for a while.
Then he turned on the telly and we sat watching and cuddling. He was very tender and affectionate and things got a bit more heated and we had sex again. When we got back to my place, we swapped contact details before I got out of the car.
A couple of weeks later I discovered he had given me a sexual infection. I went to a clinic and got treated, then messaged him to let him know. I realise this was not the best opening to a chat but I assumed I would at least get a reply.
He hasn't even got the decency to reply to my messages
I haven’t. I don’t know if I should contact him again now or wait a week. It seems amazing I have heard nothing as he was so loving when we parted that day, not wanting to let me go, stroking my hair, kissing, etc.
I felt at the time he was really interested in me. I don’t want to pester him but I really want to get to know him better.
Deidre says: I hope you made it clear he gave you the infection – assuming you’re sure that is the case.
Otherwise he may be making all sorts of unfair assumptions about you. If he knows he passed it on to you, he’s probably embarrassed, and so he should be.
But if you really like him, message him saying that you were both being irresponsible in not using protection – which I assume you didn’t or you’d have been unlikely to contract the infection. Say he must get treated too but then you’d like to see him again.
If he still doesn’t respond, you’ll have to accept he was after sex without commitment, and you gave him the wrong message about yourself by having sex with him when you’d only just met.
Source: The Sun
My view: You were both being irresponsible, When you have sex, using a condom is the safest way to protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy.