I’m having no-strings-attached sex with a gorgeous lover — but he’s seeing my best friend
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS having no-strings-attached sex with a gorgeous guy but I found out that he is also seeing my best friend.
I have known him for two years. I am 25 and he is 28. I met him at work and we were attracted to each other straight away. He soon asked me out for a drink.
I have been having no-strings-attached sex with this guy for two years
We had a great evening and then went back to his flat.
He is a great lover and has an amazing body as he works out at the gym a lot.
He told me afterwards that sex with me was great but he was not into relationships.
We carried on seeing each other and having sex but I knew nothing serious would ever happen between us even though I really fancied him.
We were in bed at his flat last week and he fell asleep after sex.
A message came on his phone and I recognised the number. It was my best friend’s phone and I read the messages.
I know it was wrong but I could not help myself. They proved that he has been having sex with her.
She is 26 and she obviously thought they were exclusive, so I texted her back from his phone, telling her I was in bed with him.
I said that we had been having sex on and off for two years. She just called me a liar.
A few days later he told me he never wanted to see me again.
It turned out that my best friend didn’t know that he was sleeping with other women and she had gone running to him and told him what I had said.
He denied everything and said I was just trying to cause trouble. It has really upset me. They are still friends yet he has kicked me out of his life after two years of friendship and sex.
He hardly even speaks to me at work — only when he has to.
I do not know what to do and I am annoyed with myself.
I miss him and I still want to be his friend.
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t go blaming yourself for the fact that he is a deceitful player.
You always wanted more with him than just being friends with benefits and I’m afraid you were always likely to get hurt.
At least you knew he wasn’t offering you commitment early on.
If your friend stays with him after the way he has deceived her, it is unlikely to turn out happily for her.
She may well turn back to you for friendship and understanding when he moves on from her.
Meanwhile, be thankful you are no longer involved with this user.
Maybe look at why you were willing to settle for just sex from this guy when what you wanted was a caring relationship.
You deserve better and my e-leaflet on Raising Self-esteem can help
Source: The Sun
My view: You should thank your stars that you saw a message from your best friend on his phone, he's clearly a user.