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My partner committed suicide and I cannot understand why


DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner took his own life three weeks ago and every day I wake up asking, “Why?” I just cannot seem to pull myself together.

He was 47, the same age as me and we were together for ten years though never married.

I had no inkling, and neither did anyone else, that his depression was so severe and deep-rooted.

He would never open up to me apart from saying it was due to family problems. I am dreading the day of his funeral.

His family have told me I cannot invite any of our friends who want to support me.

They insist I must not say he killed himself and that I must pretend we had split up. I ­cannot do that and live a lie for the rest of my life.

I finally have a better understanding of the problems he had as his family are bullies. They have spoken to me in a horrible and uncaring way in the past weeks.

Everything is such a mess. I just want to say my goodbyes peacefully with people who care.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Such deep depression is hard for anyone else to comprehend and you can find understanding through SOBS – Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (uksobs.org, 0300 111 5065).

But you can draw on the support of your friends as much as you feel the need.

Funerals are public events and anyone can attend.

I doubt you feel like sharing a wake with his family afterwards but you and your friends can organise your own celebration of your partner’s life and your relationship.

It’s early days but in time I hope you will be able to appreciate the positives of your time together though this loss will always be a sad one for you.

Source: The Sun

My view: Don't suffer in silence. ... If you think you might be depressed get help and talk to someone.

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