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I had fantastic sex with a girl I met in the pub – but only because I’m frustrated at home


Dear Deidre

I HAD great sex with a girl I’d just met in the pub – but I only did it because I’m frustrated at home.

I’m 23 and work for a finance company. My girlfriend is 21 and a student.

It went like a dream and I climaxed with her like the stud I used to be

We’ve been together for two years and the first year was amazing. We were compatible on every level, especially in bed.

It was going so well but then she got pregnant. She was on the Pill but had a vomiting bug and we didn’t realise that meant the Pill was unlikely to work.

We both knew we were too young to be parents. We didn’t discuss it for long and she ended the pregnancy — no drama, no fuss.

I thought we’d simply get on with our lives but my feelings towards her have changed.

I still love her to bits and I want to share my life with her.

But I find it more and more difficult to have sex with her now and I don’t reach climax like I did.

I was feeling so low Friday night that I went to the pub with a mate and we stayed the whole night

We used to have sex every chance that we could but it’s now more like once a fortnight. I haven’t climaxed for months.

We went on a fantastic holiday to Thailand last month but that didn’t fix it. She was very upset.

I couldn’t blame it on tiredness or work pressure. She spent hours in tears and says it must be her fault.

It hurts to say this but I’m not sexually attracted to her any more. I love her so much and I don’t want to accept it.

I was feeling so low Friday night that I went to the pub with a mate and we stayed the whole night.

The devil in me started looking at the talent and I found a girl I liked. She was 19.

I chatted her up and went back to her flat for sex. It went like a dream and I climaxed with her like the stud

I used to be.

I don’t want to see that girl ever again. I just want to have brilliant sex with the girl of my dreams like we did at the start.

DEIDRE SAYS: This must be devastating for both of you but don’t give up on your dreams.

You need to slow down now and take in what has happened to you.

I can hear that you do love your girlfriend so much, so is it surprising ending the pregnancy left a deep scar?

I’m not saying you did the wrong thing – you knew the timing was wrong so you made a decision and tried to move on.

But it sounds like you’re still racing ahead with your life without stopping to acknowledge what’s happened. No wonder the sex isn’t right.

Tell your girlfriend you love her but put sex off the agenda for now. Give yourself permission to grieve.

My e-leaflet Termination You Regret can help you come to terms with it and gives sources of support if you need some more help.

You are both still very young, so take all the time you need.

I hope that your sex life will then improve and you can move forward together again.

Source: The Sun

My opinion: It appears you don't enjoy sex with your girlfriend anymore, and I don't think anything will change your situation, since you said you still want to be with her, then just have kids together and get fun from some where else, some men do it anyway.